Posts Tagged ‘Issues’

BOOya! Scary Images For Halloween! (w/ apologies to Steve Bartman)

October 31, 2009
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Holocaust Denial

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Predators

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Guns at Obama rallies

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The Healthcare Reform Debate

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Cowboy Diplomacy

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Sarah

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Fate/What If?

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Political Football

October 30, 2009
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"Pelosi takes the snap and hands off to Reid...he's looking for the hole..."

Politics, like football, seems to be a game of inches. It takes a team of people working under enormous pressure, against an equally enormous foe, to move their agenda forward towards the goal. Every inch in that direction is a test of will, determination, and strength. Pride, ego, validation, and ultimately money are on the line. Every inch forward is vital because progress for one side is regression to the other. Glory goes to those who win, because the fight is hard. People get injured along the way. Inch, by tormented inch.

But football, unlike politics, is an honest game. Put aside gambling, cheating, and Terrell Owens crying about Tony Romo for a moment, and consider this: when two football teams step onto the field they are both trying to beat hell out of each other. The Bears hate the Packers. The Jets hate the Patriots. Everyone hates the Raiders. The mission is clear: our team must win.

In politics we get this phony attempt at bi-partisanship, which is just a ploy to make the American public feel good about ourselves. Voters pull the lever for the politician that supports the issues that are important to that him or her. And I am sure “kumbaya” is not on anyone’s top-10 list of most important issues right now.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for a happy nation where everyone is getting theirs. I would like all Americans to be able to agree on some basic things like guns, abortion, human rights, and never letting Tom Delay dance in public again. But that’s not what America is all about. America is really all about football.

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Why not just ram the ball through the opposition's weak defensive front?

In the Healthcare Reform Legislation Bowl the Democrats are the home team. They have the crowd mostly behind them. They have a great quarterback (Obama) who knows how to move the ball. Their offense (House of Representatives) is superior, but their defense (Senate) is pretty evenly matched against the GOP because of some weak spots in the lineup (Lieberman, Nelson, Conrad).

The Republicans are the underdogs in this game. They don’t have the numbers in the House to lineup against the Democrats, but they can score points off their own offense in the Senate by overpowering the Democrats’ porous secondary. In football this would be called the Blue Dog Offensive Scheme.

The Democrats are playing this too conservatively. Rather than playing to avoid mistakes or fumbles, they should just take the ball and play smash-mouth. Break through the GOP’s weak defense against a public option, and outrun them to the end zone.

In other words Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi and her housemates have put out a bill on healthcare reform. The bill is now in your hands. If the Bluedogs like Lieberman, Nelson, and Conrad are gonna let the GOP run all over you in the Senate then use the power of cloture–you have the numbers for that. Get your team together on a bill that delivers what ALL DEMOCRATS said they’d do before the 2008 election, ram it through and do what you gotta do to get it on the President’s desk for a signature. If it upsets the GOP and their supporters, I can assure you that the voters will let you know if that’s a problem or not. 2010 is around the corner, and the voters will all have something to say on election day. Win this game now and you might just dominate for a long time. Losing it means losing many Democratic voters, your job, and likely losing control of the congress in a year.

Democrats were elected to run this country right now, and I want the agenda I voted for. NO COMPROMISES! Democrats, if you get an inch in this debate, turn it into a 55-yard kick return and take it all the way to the house–The White House.

Remembering W

October 28, 2009

ATT10320139Remember this guy? He used to be the POTUS. Remember how we were first introduced to this jamoke as “W”? Remember how adorable that Texas charm and aw shucks humility seemed like exactly what we needed after Bubba and his antics? Remember how W was the kind of guy voters wanted to have a beer with–except that he gave up drinking precisely because he used to be too much of that kind of guy.

Remember how it took all those judges at the Supreme Court to promote W to President? Remember hanging chads and people down in Florida counting votes just to make sure we elected the “right guy”. Remember Al Gore’s concession speech? Remember how Al had this bizarre smile on his face? He was smiling because he realized that America had become Bizarro World.

Remember how W used to pronounce “nuclear” as “nook-yoo-ler”? Remember how that was okay–how for EIGHT YEARS the man with his finger on the button couldn’t (wouldn’t) even correctly pronounce the physics behind the most powerful weapons on earth? Remember how it undermined his scary “Axis Of Evil” speech and almost made you giggle whenever he said nookyooler? No? Am I the only person who giggled?

I remember how excited W got whenever he went on vacation to the “Western Whitehouse”. Like it was a fucking Presidential Spring Break or something. Or World Leaders Gone Wild. Remember W out in his Texas ranch brush chopping cedar wood and driving ATVs? Remember watching football, choking on a pretzel, and passing out? No? Maybe you were too busy fighting his wars. Or scrambling in the shambles of W’s destruction of the middle class. Or getting depressed watching his ridiculous, color coded, Terrorist-threat-level warning system change colors more often than an old RCA television from 1981?

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Remember Torture? Remember W’s scary little friend whom he called Cheney? That guy never said anything. He just had his secret meetings in his secret locations with his secret CIA pals and he never said anything. At least not until he got out of office. Now he won’t shut the fuck up!

Remember how W would get all up on his hackles whenever he talked to that guy over in North Korea–how W always seemed to like to call Kim Jong Il’s bluff and refuse to talk until he wanted to follow W’s rules of engagement? I remember how the whole world hated America and how I started working on my Canadian accent.

Remember Iraq and Afghanistan? I do because we’re still dealing with it. W isn’t but we are.

Remember how W took all those trips to Texas, and he only went to Israel once? W only went to Israel once. At the end of his Presidency. The Israeli/Palestinian conflict is at the center of the main reason why Al Qaeda attacked us on 9-11. And W only went to Israel once. Remember how nobody said a goddamned thing about it?

Remember Katrina and New Orleans and the Gulf Coast? W forgot all about them. But he remembered to tell Brownie that he was doing a “great” job.

Remember how the economy started to implode just before W went away? Almost like he knew it was coming and he was just gonna slip out the back door before the shit hit the fan?

I remember W. For eight long years I was embarrassed to say I was an American because of W. For eight long years I felt like an outsider in my own country. For four long years I counted every day until the 2004 election…then for four more years I dreaded the 2008 election, fearing we were destined to elect another moronic, obnoxious, elitist, corrupt jerk like W.

Let’s remember W, so we never make a mistake like him again.